Happy “Soon-to-be Mother’s Day”

This was written back in 2012 on my last blog “The PCOS and Infertility Journey” and I always think about it every year before Mother’s Day.  Even though I have been a mother for over 5 years now the raw feeling of empty arms still holds a place in my heart, along with all of the 1 in 8 people who are struggling through infertility.  Take a moment to remember the Soon-to-be Mother’s this Mother’s Day.

I know that most women struggling with infertility absolutely dread Mother’s Day, some to the point of literally hating the holiday that praises what we so desperately want to be, so I have dubbed it not only Mother’s Day but also “Soon-to-be Mother’s Day”.  I believe that Mother’s Day should incorporate all mothers, because mothers come in so many shapes and forms.  Traditional mothers, foster mothers, step mothers, Godmothers, and so many more.  So who’s to say an infertile mother does not count?  In our infertile reality a woman who longs to have a child is as much a mother as a woman with five children.  So what if we do not have an actual child to hold and care for?  It is not our fault, not our choice.  We would happily receive the crayola made cards and popsicle stick boxes if they existed in our world.  But one day they will.  So let’s focus on our mother’s and our mother-in-laws, and any other type of mother in our life.  Let’s be supportive to the infertile mother’s-to-someday-be around us.  And let’s remember, that although we do not have a child to hold in our arms we are no less of a mother than they.

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Live Your Passion

What does this mean to you?  What does “Live Your Passion” truly mean?  I had a lot of passion growing up, especially in my teens.  Just ask my parents and then can tell you all about my many passions!  But really, I believed in causes, lived for dance, and a number of other things.  Then adulthood hit.  My 20’s seemed to have been spent just wandering through trying to be successful in college, then start a career, start a life, getting married, and then trying to start a family.  Sure, I enjoyed what I did and am certainly happy with my career path and family but is that the same as living your passion?  I really started to understand this a couple years ago.

Being diagnosed with PCOS and struggling with fertility did something to re-ignite the passion in me.  Once again I had something to fight for.  Someone to fight for.  I have certainly spent much time dabbling in the fight against infertility which lead me to learn so much about the other things I am so passionate about and want to spread my knowledge and views with the world.

It’s strange though, I think that we all get sucked up in our day to day lives and the “busy” our society has created for ourselves that we forget we are hear for a greater purpose and we all need to figure out what that greater purpose is.  I was moving my way toward that light for a few years and then it seemed like once I hit 30 a wall came tumbling down around me allowing me to move forward and live my passion.  Perhaps it was because my family and life are in a pretty good place.  (Trust me, by good I mean no where near perfect.  All families have baggage and are a constant work in progress.)  Perhaps 30 hit and I realized I needed to do more with my life than the a-typical career woman, mother and wife gig.  Not that I do not love my life but I want to have some sort of an impact in this world.

I’m not here to preach that everyone needs to eat healthy, feed the hungry, rid ourselves of chemicals, talk about Autism, and the other numerous life changes I advocate for.  I’m here to preach that you need to live your passion.  Find what gives you that butterflies in the stomach excited feeling, a sense of purpose, a sense of accomplishment.  Yes, having a career and family and being successful is important, admirable, and you should be oh so proud of yourself.  But find what makes you feel good.  What brings you to life?  It can be collecting rocks for all I care but do something!  Get a hobby.  Advocate.  Run a marathon.  Join a charity.  Be that example for your children.  I’m not sure what your passion is, no one can tell you, you need to figure that our for yourself.  But I promise you, once you find it, nothing can stop you.  So go, find your passion and live it.